If the Sun Comes Up Tomorrow
by Skylar Maverick
Summary: Jeff loves Trish, but he can't save her this time... (Refrences to Hootie and the Blowfish's "Let Her Cry")


She had lost her father a few weeks ago. That was the exact time I lost her. She used to be happy, she used to be vibrant, she used to be able to light up a room with her smile. Now she is nothing of these things. She is listless as her father and twice as dead inside. The depression that consumed her also robbed her of her beauty. Her eyes were outlined with dark circles, she hasn't slept in weeks, she died her hair black to reflect her mood and she was rapidly losing weight. Seeing her in such a state was killing me, but I swore to stand by her side no matter what.  
  
I stared at her from out of our bedroom window. It was midnight and she sat underneath a street light in the pouring rain. She had been staring into the distance for hours, never moving. The rain had soaked her to the bone, but that didn't affect her at all. Nothing mattered to her except she needed a way to deaden the pain inside. Tears rolled down my cheeks because I knew I couldn't save her this time.  
  
I shivered as I saw her raise the bottle to her lips. "So that's what's keeping her warm." I muttered. There were empty liquor bottles scattered around the apartment. I kicked a few as I crossed the bedroom, entered the bathroom, grabbed a few towels and made my way to the door. I decided she had been out there long enough. No matter how much she fought with me, I had to force her inside or she would freeze to death.  
  
"Trish!" I called out as I walked towards her. She didn't move a muscle to respond in any way. She just continued to stare into the distance. "Trish, you have to come inside now." I wrapped a towel around her shoulders. She fought with me, pushing me away. "Baby please, you'll catch your death out here."  
  
"And I'd welcome it with open arms." She said as she took another drink. "Jeff, don't you get it? I want to die! I want the pain to stop, I want my Daddy!" She began to bawl. I took her by the shoulders and pulled her upright and brought her in close to my chest. "Jeff, you don't understand, you can't understand what I'm going through. He was everything to me. I'm nothing now! Jeff, I could never even love you as much as I loved my father. Hell, I'm not even sure if I love you!" She slurred, my nose curling from her rank, alcohol breath.  
  
"Let's get you inside." I tucked a piece of dark hair behind her ear and wrapped the towel tightly around her and took off my coat to keep her warm. Thankfully the rain camouflaged my tears.  
  
"She sits alone by a lamppost  
  
trying to find a thought that's escaped her mind  
  
She says Dad's the one I love the most  
  
but Stipe's not far behind  
  
She never lets me in  
  
only tell me where's she's been  
  
when she's had too much to drink  
  
I say that I don't care I just run my hands  
  
through her dark hair and I pray to God  
  
you gotta help me fly away"  
  
I sat in the living room my face buried in my hands. I had helped Trish dry off and put her into a dry pair of pyjamas and put her to bed. But I could hear a tiny sound of her sobs escaping through the closed door. I shook my head as I tried to fathom a way to help her through this. But every time I tried to think rationally, my heart would break all over again when I heard her crying. So I lay down on the couch and turned on the television, hoping to drown out the sound.  
  
"Let her cry, if the tears fall down like rain  
  
Let her sing, if it eases all her pain  
  
Let her go, let her walk right out on me  
  
And if the sun comes up tomorrow  
  
Let her be, let her be."  
  
I woke up with the light creeping in the living room window. There was an eerie quietness to the house, which lead me to believe she wasn't home. "Trish?" I called as I sat up, rubbing my eyes. "Trish!" I began to panic as all the worst-case scenarios flooded my mind. I turned around and saw a note placed by the coffee table. I picked it up, tore it open and read aloud. "Dear Jeff, I'm sorry. I can't take it any more. I've taken the car, I won't be back." I began to shed tears. "Damnit!" I hissed as I shot up, ran to the kitchen and reached for my car keys as she walked though the front door. She was sniffling, but that was no shock as of late so I grabbed a beer from the fridge and went back to the living room.  
  
"This morning I woke up alone  
  
found a note by the phone  
  
saying maybe I'll be back some day  
  
I wanted to look for you  
  
You walked in I didn't know just what to do  
  
so I sat back down had a beer and felt sorry for myself."  
  
I set the beer back down on the coffee table and sighed. "That's no going to solve anything." I would be doing the same thing she was, trying to numb my pain with alcohol and other drugs. I rubbed at my eyes as I stood and walked to the bedroom doorway.  
  
She was sitting on the bed, weeping as usual. I clutched my heart because this time the tears were much more raw, much more painful. I watched her as she took one of her prescription sleeping pills from its bottle and swallowed it, laying herself back to cry herself to sleep. I felt so completely helpless.  
  
"Let her cry, if the tears fall down like rain  
  
Let her sing, if it eases all her pain  
  
Let her go, let her walk right out on me  
  
And if the sun comes up tomorrow  
  
Let her be, let her be."  
  
  
  
All the lights were out as I grabbed my bag and tried to creep towards the door. If I spent one more night with Trish, having to see the pain she was in, I would go crazy. But just as placed my hand on the door I heard her voice from behind me. "Jeff, are you leaving me?" he voice was so soft, so hurt. I turned and saw a whole new hurt on her face. I broke down.  
  
"No sweetheart." I gave her a supportive smile. "I'm not going anywhere."  
  
"Good, I was terrified for a moment that I was becoming too much of a hassle for you. Jeff, I know how the way I've been acting must have been hard on you, I'm sorry." Her lip was quivering.  
  
"Trish I love you."  
  
"I love you too Jeffrey, so very much. No matter how this story ends, promise you won't forget that." I was a little haunted by her words but I nodded my promise to her. "Good. I'm just going to the bathroom." She excused herself. That meant she was going to lock herself in the bathroom and smoke something to ease her pain. I sighed as I walked back to the living room and cried harder than I had ever cried before.  
  
"Last night I tried to leave  
  
She cried so much I just  
  
could not believe  
  
she was the same girl I  
  
fell in love with long ago  
  
She went in the back to  
  
get high  
  
I sat down on my couch  
  
and cried  
  
yelling oh mama please  
  
help me  
  
won't you hold my hand"  
  
  
  
I had made up my mind. I was going to force Trish to go to some sort of clinic. There she would get the help she needed, both emotionally and with the substance abuse. I stood up and walked to the bathroom.  
  
When I got there the door was locked. I knocked, "Trish, honey are you almost done?" There was no response. "Trish?" I asked again. "Trish answer me!" I panicked and used my weight to force the door open.  
  
I stared in horror as I saw Trish, the love of my life, sprawled on the floor in a puddle of blood. "Trish, oh god!" I cried as I fell to my knees. "Trish, what did you do?"  
  
She looked up at me, tears flowing steadily. "I'm sorry Jeff. I've been such a burden. I don't want to hurt you any more Jeff. I took the pills Jeff, all of them. But it wasn't working fast enough. I needed you to be free from me, free from all the pain I've cause you. I saw a razor. Jeff, I'm sorry, don't cry.." I pulled her close.  
  
"Trish, I've got to call for and ambulance." I was shaking I was so afraid.  
  
"No Jeff." She said as she clutched the collar of my shirt. "No, it's too late. Just hold me Jeff. Jeff, I'm afraid. Just hold me and tell me everything is okay. Lie to me Jeff." The sheer desperation in her moist eyes broke my heart. I hugged her close to me.  
  
"Everything will be fine Trish. Don't worry. I love you." I gently rocked her back and forth. "You are safe now Trish. Your father and my mother will take good care of you. You won't hurt anymore baby, everything will be okay." Her cries were muffled against my chest as I tried to keep from breaking down. My white shirt was covered in her blood.  
  
"Let her cry, if the tears fall down like rain  
  
Let her sing, if it eases all her pain  
  
Let her go, let her walk right out on me  
  
And if the sun comes up tomorrow  
  
Let her be, let her be."  
  
  
  
She stopped crying. She stopped moving all together. "No!" I cried as I laid her before me. She was completely still. "Trish no!" I screamed as I beat my palms on the tile floor. I pulled her back up quickly and sobbed into her hair. "No, Trish. I loved you! I should have gotten you help sooner. This is all my fault." I looked up to see our six year old baby girl staring at her mother in horror. 


End file.
